Current mood: FUCK THAT HEDWIG’S THEME MY GOD
Fantastic Beasts. Ah how long have I waited for it to happen. To think it was approximately one year ago that the reveal trailer was out and every HP fan had their eyes gouged out of excitement! I read the textbook ‘written’ by Newt Scamander, oh boy was it great! But definitely I should have flipped through the book once more before I went to see the movie.
The movie starts with a nice view of a ship. It was 1926, New York is having their machinery boom. Our fellow cute protagonist Newt Scamander arrives with a faulty lock briefcase. You know the rest. Beasts escape, wreck havoc, civilians panic, yada yada yada.
For normal movie-goers this is a new and mystical experience. Creatures of legend, creatures with amazing powers and abilities. But for potterheads we know better. Anyone who has read the ‘textbook’ will be thrilled to see these beasts come to life. We get to see brilliant effects not possible before. We get to experience the magic again.
But of course we’re mainly there for the subtle references and in-jokes. Don’t lie.
Newt Scamander does not need any introduction. He is the cutest dork since Luna Lovegood. And well, he’s a Hufflepuff. He loves his friends to bits (and by friends I mean all those beasts he keeps in the briefcase), super geeky about creatures, and super awkward.
Porpentina Goldstein is (spoilers if you haven’t read the book) Newt’s future wife, my new OTP!!!! She’s an auror (auror=amazing) and is eager to redeem herself after an accident left her demoted to a desk job.
Jacob Kowalski is a No-Maj with big dreams. Mostly oblivious because of course he is! His wonder when he first saw those beasts in Newt’s briefcase is all of us. All of us including those who read the book dammit. He gets obliviated at the end, but has some vague memories intact.
Queenie is Tina’s sister. At first glance she may look like a ditsy blonde (she’s strawberry blonde, but still blonde), especially since she’s pretty, but oh no, you had her wrong. She speaks softly but this girl can fight you elegantly and you will still lose.
The BEASTS OMG!!!! The book has few illustrations, everybody can recognize a dragon, a unicorn and a phoenix; but not these. You can imagine their shape or form, but to actually see it??? No way.
The Niffler is probably the first one to be featured in the movie. I aint saying it a gold-digger, but its pockets sure are infinite.
The Bowtruckle is a mini groot.
This one actually got me laughing. I’ve read about it in the textbook where Erumpents explode each other during mating season with their horns. I mean reading the phrase ‘explode each other’ is already funny enough.
The fur of Demiguise is used to make invisibility cloaks. Also they can see the ~future~
The Occamy is a serpent beast which can shrink at will to whatever size. It’s also the one with eggs made of pure silver.
You might not see the Murtlap in the movie. According to the textbook its a rat beast which can be consumed but only in small doses.
There is an illustration for the Billywig in the textbook. It’s bright sapphire blue and spins so fast rarely anyone will ever spot it.
The Thunderbird is not mentioned in the textbook, for whatever reason. It is the star of the movie right after the Niffler. It has three pairs of wings for crying out loud!!! Even saying ‘Thunderbird’ sounds awesome does it not?
The Swooping Evil is not in the textbook either. It is fairly cool because it can suck a person’s brains out. Also it looks like a flying dinosaur.
Th Graphorn is extremely aggressive an hard to tame. It’s horns are used in potions but are very expensive.
The Nundu is -according to the textbook- the most dangerous beast in the world. It has a deadly breath. It is the feline counterpart to the Final Fantasy Malboro.
Apart from the few with pictures there are many more featured within a few frames in the movie. The one I spotted immediately was the Diricrawl, which Muggles know as the Dodo. They aren’t instinct, they just know how to vanish at will. Sadly this was the only one I recognised.
Mooncalves are those adorable things Jacob feeds in Newt’s beast paradise. Apparently Fwoopers, Doxies and Grindylows are in there too but I didn’t notice.
The in-jokes and references!!! This one was my favourite:
At the start of the film where the Niffler escapes to do its own gold-digging, the leader of the no magic cult, Mary Lou Barebone spots Newt and asks him somewhere along the lines of (sorry I haven’t got the screenplay yet):
“Are you a seeker of truth?”
This question does not works on its own, Newt’s response:
“I’m more of a chaser, really,”
Haha! I see what you did there! Any potterhead would point and do the ‘Aha!’ and newcomers would be so confused…
Seeker and chaser are two positions in the wizarding world sport of Quidditch. I was surprised I actually got the reference.
Also at the very beginning when an officer checks Newt’s case for any suspicious possessions, we spot none other than a HUFFLEPUFF scarf!!!
Miss Dragon informed me that I will be hearing lots of familiar names. There’s Dumbledore (because everyone knows him), but not something as cool as this one:
In the second half of the film, Queenie sees a picture of a girl. She pries further into Newt’s love life to find out that the girl is Leta Lestrange. Haha! I know where this is leading.
For newcomers it might not mean much but Lestrange is a pure-blood dark arts family, so it can be speculated that Newt’s falling out with Leta might have something to do with dark wizards. Put two and two together!
In the toxic, abusive and manipulative ‘bromance’ between Graves and Credence (that poor child), Graves gives him a necklace. It is triangular with a circle and a vertical line. It is the symbol of the Elder Wand, the Resurrection Stone and the Cloak of Invisibility combined – the Deathly Hallows. It is said whoever possesses the three items becomes invincible.
Dumbledore admits to Harry that he and Grindelwald used to search for the items before the latter went cuckoo and caused a great war.
Grindelwald appears at the end, posing as Graves for the whole duration of the film. Grindelwald’s true self is portrayed by Johnny Depp, so now that he is already involved in Rowling’s wizarding world, I’m going to wait for Tim Burton to contribute something to this franchise.
Let’s talk about the shipssssss!!!!!
I never wanted Fantastic Beasts to be a chick-flick: 10 minutes into the movie and they fall in love, make out session and roll credits! That’s not how things work. I was super scared when Jacob and Queenie were up each other’s cases (in a good way) but hey, Jacob is a cinnamon roll he’s not some douchebag dudebro. Also he’s chubby and likes to bake what can you dislike about this guy? NOTHING. Queenie aint your stereotypical blondie either, so all in all a good ‘awwww’ and ‘nooooo’ to your heart.
Newt and Tina. The textbook mentioned briefly about Newt and his wife, they’re married, live happily, the end. I was thrilled to know that Tina IS Newt’s wife in canon. So lemme tell you why I love Tina. Newt’s amazing and all but this girl is cool in a special way.
She’s not the ‘attractive’ female lead. She is a plain woman trying to do her job. It kind of makes me hopeful, that I would someday find someone who looks at me like how Newt looks at Tina. Most of the time in movies the female lead has some physical aspect of her that is considered attractive. Tina looks pretty plain to me. The only thing I find attractive is her sense of righteousness. Her kind and caring nature. Her passion for her job.
And the best part about the relationship is that even we know it is canon, they’re married yada yada, at the very end, before Newt leaves, all they did was involves minimal physical contact.
Is2g every time I see them I wanna shout FUCK (as in exclamation, not the act) and clutch my heart while I lie down on the floor and cry. What did we do to deserve such a beautiful ship?
It is true that Fantastic Beasts is a stand-alone film and can be enjoyed by all, but just like Star Wars VII, only those who have seen or read the previous installments could appreciate the film 200%. I did, the movie was great, go read the textbook, go read Harry Potter, and go forth and cry for this beautiful ship.