The worst novel I have ever read

PSA: This is a review I wrote in 2013 about literally, THE WORST NOVEL I HAVE EVER READ. I edited a few mistakes and rephrased some sentences, so… go ahead and enjoy my wrath.

This is one particular book review I wanted to write… without my teacher giving me a big ole’ zero for it. I think we all know the stupid school novel entitled “Papa… akhirnya kau tewas jua!” I have A LOT of comments about this shitty story.

The main character is Intan Julia (OMG there’s a FF8 soundtrack named Julia!). She’s the ‘woman’. You know what I mean. She’s smart, moderate looking, has the worlds most inseparable-lovebird-couple parents, and also the only daughter. She is the CENTER OF HER goddamn PARENT’S ATTENTION. Yet, to befriend a boy which her stupid father denies, she lied. And what’s more she gets all jelly for Rasylan just cause he’s hanging out with some other girls. They’re not even a couple!
Character hate=10%

Up next, Julia’s papa, Jeffri. HE’S THE WORST CHARACTER IN THE WHOLE STORY. He ‘loves’ Intan Maliana very much. Ha! When his wife got pregnant, a bunch of people were trying to persuade her to abort the child because of she’s a defective ‘baby-making machine’ (coma after Julia). Woah, it’s not me who says she’s a ‘baby-making machine’, Jeffri looks at her that way. He treats her that way. ‘He loves his wife very much’ my ass. Actions speak louder than words. His way of treating Intan Maliana proves to me, to us, that he doesn’t care less! If Jeffri truly loves her, he would never let his wife take the risk of giving birth after complications 16 years before though he wished he could have another child! When Intan Maliana went into coma, he swore he wouldn’t marry another. Guess what? He married his student. The reason: he’s lonely (more like he couldn’t suppress his loneliness waist down), he needs a wife (more like he’s too lazy to get up on his own early in the morning for prayers, pfft) This is one phrase I heard from a drama:

A 25-year-old man likes a 25-year-old woman; when a man is 40 years old, he’ll still like a 25-year-old woman!

True true, this case is one example. Oh hoho, that whore of a bitch’s name is Aisyah, and this particular ‘Aisyah’ has shamed other people with the same name – wait, the author disgraced the people with this name!

Then he said “We must befriend people with a sincere heart without discriminating”. Julia befriends Rasylan, an orphan of Jordan and Indonesian lineage. He’s the product of a rape case. What’s more, his adoptive father is the man whose car ran into Jeffri’s parents, then ran away, but came back and paid for their hospital bills. Jeffri forbids his daughter from befriending Rasylan because: one, he’s a ‘wild child’, not of true Malayan heritage; two, his adoptive father matters. Is my social understanding too shallow, or this frickin’ bastardi has to eat his own words?

When Julia knows of Jeffri’s intentions to marry another, she objects, questions her father’s decisions, then got slapped. WHAT KIND OF HUSBAND AND FATHER IS HE?! Julia finally agreed to let Jeffri remarry for her father’s future happiness. Before the said wedding, Jeffri asks Julia, “If you don’t want to me to marry, now is the time to say it,” He’s got some guts. The bride is already waiting and yet he can say these words like he could cancel the wedding and all when he’s decided to marry! He’s such an irresponsible man!

I’ve got some new perwatakan for him, let’s see…
1) Tidak dapat mengawal nafsu
2) Tidak berpegang kepada janji
3) Malas
4) Tidak bertanggungjawab
5) Menilai orang dengan diskriminasi
6) Tidak mengaku kesalahan
7) Tidak dapat menjadi teladan kepada anak
8) Gatal
If there’s more, fell free to tell me. *rolls eyes*
Character hate=100%
You get it? 100% character hate and I welcome you to do some extreme bashing on him.

Then we have Intan Maliana, Julia’s mama and Jeffri’s ‘beloved’ wife. She was nice and all, but stupid and love sick AT THE SAME TIME. The couple were almost like Altair(牛郎) and Vega(织女) at some point (they were sooooo love sick). She knew the complications she will face if she were to give birth the second time, but love can overcome many obstacles… she agreed to keep the child because of her love for Jeffri… and got herself into a coma. Hahahahahaha!
Character hate=20%

Aisyah is Jeffri’s second wife, also his student. OMG did I just say ‘student’?! Aisayh is rich, good-looking and most importantly, YOUNG. Young probably means a virgin, and maybe also a tight figa. I bet Jeffri had ‘fun’ with her during their first night. Even the olden princes of the church can never keep the thing in their loins without attention for too long! She got pregnant after that. Imagine: you, 17+. Your mom is in a coma and your dad decides to marry another young, fit lady. That woman is almost the same age as you, and you’re calling her “mother”. What’s more, she is pregnant! Congratulations! CAN YOU FRICKIN ACCEPT THAT?! I CANNOT. I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WOMAN CAN MARRY A MAN WHO CAN BE HER FATHER WHEN HE’S HER TEACHER AND I GUESS THAT’S BECAUSE THEY DID NOT LEARN PENDIDIKAN MORAL. (No offence, but they really didn’t learn that subject) Maybe that’s why they say love is blind.
Character hate=50%

Enough character hate, let’s move to teh PLOT.
Most of the plot is already mentioned in Jeffri’s profile, so now I’ll tell you about the hilarious ending. Intan Maliana was in coma right? So that one particular day (after Jeffri’s second marriage and Aisyah’s pregnancy) where Julia and Jeffri came to greet her, she woke up. WOKE UP WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE. Then father and daughter were so happy that they forgot the most important thing… Aisyah came into the scene and tada! Intan Maliana saw the lady’s swelling belly while Jeffri was trying to find the right words to explain to his first wife. He did explain, saying he was lonely (again). Tears were shed and suddenly Intan Maliana finds it hard to breathe and… drops dead. The end~

Moving on to education matters. This novel is NOT appropriate for teenagers because:
1) It somehow implies teacher/student relationships (not that I’m against it, but it is ILLEGAL. ALSO YOU’RE NOT MATURE TO COMMIT TO THESE KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS.)
2) Encourages a person to marry multiple wives
3) Encourages children to befriend someone behind their parent’s backs
4) Tells you to slap someone if they find your mistakes

Even my teachers can’t understand why the government agreed to let this novel be part of out syllabus. Also it is written by a woman. A WOMAN.

That’s it! I probably just want to bash Jeffri in this post but WHO CARES ANYWAY?! Hope you all “Papa…” haters out there enjoy this particular review about shitty characters and stupid plot! Addio, amico mio! I hope we’ll be able to do some bashing again!

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